RIP, Ms Ifill

Nooooooo!!!
Just when I thought it cannot get worse. RIP Gwen Ifill

Ms Ifill, thank you so very much for the best, and exemplary journalism you'd provided.
Washington Week is the only program both Paul and I must tune in every week.  It just won't be the same without your presence.

I can't even express my sorrow.

Sad and Scarry

On Tuesday morning, I woke up with  a big smile on my face.  I thought to myself, "we're going to make history today!"

After voting, Paul and I went out to brunch, and we talked about how much we'll miss Obama, but so excited about our first woman president.

Little did we realize HOW MUCH we really are going to miss President Obama.
The unthinkable happened,

I have been oscillating between anger and feeling despair since Tuesday evening.  I cannot stop crying. I never thought an election would make me so emotional.  Even back when George W Bush was elected I was pissed off but I never cried.

I realized I live in a country where half of the people may not see or want me as equal.  I realized half of the people can overlook or condone bigotry and hatred and voted for someone who has built his campaign based on hatred towards people like me.

Now, I am not OK with the talk of moving forward, working together.  The pain is too raw.
I can't, because I can't change who I am, a minority immigrant woman. I can't come to terms with knowing many of my neighbor, my coworkers, my students voted for bigotry.

On Wednesday,  I got few emails from colleagues about work.  They continued with their normal life while I felt like the world is falling apart.  I dragged myself to work.  I had to nod my head while they're excited about getting new computers for the classrooms. I was so numb. Students chatted, joked, though no one talked about politics, but no one acted like things were out of ordinary.  A Bernie Bro student said, "you must be upset."  I wanted to scream at him "FUCK YOU!" but I just ignored him and walked away.

No, I don't want to hear why half of the country voted the way they did.  Good for them that they can feel safe in a country that is taking a huge step backward in time when minorities, women, and LGBTQ were not treated as equal.  But we don't, we don't feel safe, so I don't care, not now, why they voted the man who spew all kinds of hate into power.

No, I don't want to hear about how Bernie or others could win.  Don't tell me shattering the glass ceiling is secondary.  It upsets me to hear that the only way to fight sexism is with an old white man.

I can't stop feeling very emotional.
One thing I can do is:

I will be donating 60% of pattern sales from November 2016 to Planned Parenthood. 
This is the place where I got my first annual check up in my early 20s, also the first place I got my birth control pills for free.